On the 14th of April 2020, in the midst of a global pandemic, my husband, Nick, and I found out we were having a baby. We had been trying to conceive for 3 or 4 months and got our positive pregnancy test on this day. We were absolutely overjoyed and so excited. Working it back we conceived our boy the day before the first hard lockdown in South Africa began. This meant that Nick got to experience my whole pregnancy alongside me as lockdown had forced him to bring his business home. Having him there with me was one of the biggest blessings of my pregnancy. I had a very difficult pregnancy with nausea and vomiting every single day for 9 months, intense migraines, food aversions, hectic insomnia and utter exhaustion and fatigue. So much so that I had to stop working from around 6 months. Pregnancy is supposed to be such a joyful time of celebration but it was very lonely for me being in isolation as we had no idea the effects this virus could have on our baby boy. Being so strict and not seeing any of our people or being able to share that special time with them and the world was really hard on me. The pregnancy itself was actually very healthy though. Even though I was generally on a diet of Coca-Cola and Bar-ones all my tests came back good and Nate grew and developed beautifully. From the get-go he measured big for his age and was super healthy.
We reached our due date on 19 December 2020 and the action began. At around 9pm on that Saturday some mild contractions started. They were irregular and very far apart. I had good rest in between them preparing for what was to come. Sunday arrived and with it more intense and more consistent contractions. We took our dogs for a walk in a nearby field, having to stop every so often to move through a surge. After our walk my mom, Jo, and mother-in-law, Julie, arrived. I had the immense privilege of having both my mom and mother-in-law with me as support through my labour. These two hugely important women helped carry me through each surge and every moment. Having their hands on me and Love around me made me able to confidently move through this wondrous but difficult experience. Susan Lees, to us Dilla, our midwife and Nick’s aunt walked us through our whole journey. Nick was her very first home birth 35 years ago so to have her guiding us through Nate’s birth was something magical and so special. I am eternally grateful to her for her Love, support and incomparable knowledge in birthing babies.
Dilla arrived at about 6pm on Sunday evening.
Keeping an eye on my boy, Dilla measured Nate’s heart rate through a few contractions. His
heart rate stayed consistent and strong throughout. Having my amazing birth team there,
including my magnificent husband, helped me through each and every surge. My contractions were unbearable without someone pressing strongly on my lower back. Between Nick, Jo and Julie I had constant and powerful support and loving hands guiding me through each seemingly insurmountable moment.
At around 10pm I was officially in active labour and my amazing birth team prepared the birthing pool for me. It was pure heaven climbing in. At this point our darling cousin, Rebecca arrived to photograph and document our birth. What an absolute privilege to be surrounded by family through these moments. Not only family but powerful and strong mothers and matriarchs in their own right. I felt so humbled and held by the powerful energy of the divine goddess, The Mother.
My remarkable husband was with me for every moment of our labour. He supported me, rubbed my back and carried me through. I could not have birthed our boy without his Love, strength and calm.
Dilation was slow and steady but eventually Dilla suggested she break my waters to get things really progressing and from there things were very, very intense. The contractions came like non-stop waves, one on top of the other. You get to a point in your labour where it feels too difficult and too painful to continue and for the first time you start to think that maybe you can’t do this. That maybe birthing a baby, unmedicated is just too hard. It's at this point that you’ve entered transition and feel the need to start pushing. No-one can prepare you for this. It is immense and unbearable and seemingly impossible but with courage, support and Love it can be done. It is the most rewarding experience because it brings your baby into the world.
Dilla asked me to get out of the pool and I started pushing in the lounge. Nick literally held me up through each and every push. He carried me on his Love and strength, reminding me of my own strength and capabilities. He was instrumental in getting our baby out. We then moved to the bedroom and I lay on my back on our bed with my birth team surrounding me. With each push and with the physical and emotional support of our family Nate slowly made his way into the world. At one point when he was crowning, Dilla encouraged me to reach down and touch his head. “It’s so squishy!”, was my reaction. I pushed for an hour and 15 minutes to get my boy out.
Nate was born at 5:05am on 21 December 2020 at a very healthy 4.1kgs. He was caught by his incredibly strong father and surrounded by the fierce matriarchy of his Grandmothers, his great aunt, Dilla, and his second cousin, Rebecca. The stars literally aligned to birth our solstice son and birth me into motherhood as this was the day of the Jupiter and Saturn conjunction where the world could see these two planets aligned in the sky. This auspicious day was the day my son was born. I have never felt such relief as I did the moment I first heard Nate’s cry and my dogs went crazy barking with joy and surprise. His dad caught him and gave him directly to me. He was safely and happily placed on my chest. The first eyes and hands on our boy were those of family, full of Love and adoration. We allowed the umbilical cord to pulsate and eventually Nick cut that all important connection between mother and child. Natey lay on my chest wide-eyed, peacefully taking in the world and his new family. Perfectly whole and divinely perfect. It was then that I understood the truth of unconditional Love.
Having a home birth meant that as soon as Nate arrived and we’d both had all our checks, the three of us could snuggle up together in our bed and let the rest of the world disappear. It was absolute bliss. From the time Dilla arrived the day before time and space had little relevance. It felt like our house had been transported by magic to the outermost reaches of the galaxy, and now with Nate in our arms we were slowly making our way back down to reality. Our village of power women cleaned up the house while we rested together as a family and left us to soak in all Nate’s newborn deliciousness.
written by Dom Catto
photography by Rebecca https://www.lovemadevisible.co.za/mama-made-visible
